The Subtle Beauty in Battle Scars

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

“Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact that there is healing.” 

Battle scars.

These words hit me big time when I saw on the news recently about how women are trying to change the concept of beauty.

A scar is ugly but when you associate it with a time in your life where your courage and strength and character was put to test, then it becomes a beautiful.

Admit it or not, we have a very cruel notion of what beauty is.

We all get superficial but it's okay because it is the truth.

The truth is, no one can appreciate your personality or character in 30 seconds, but a beautiful face can get approval in split seconds.

And that split second does not even need you to open your mouth to say anything.

Battle scars are what women are now calling their stretch marks from pregnancy.

It is normal to have stretchmarks after a pregnancy because just as what the term connotes, visible marks of how your skin stretched from a size 24 to a size 36 or more during the course of our 9-month pregnancy.

On top of that, the skin is weighted down because of the weight of the baby inside.

It is called a battle scar because it is a reminder of the ordeals a woman goes through pregnancy and delivery of the baby.

My own tummy grew soo big on my last pregnancy, maybe because I was carrying a boy.

I ate a lot and would sneak out to buy 'halo-halo' from Razon's near Araneta Gateway Mall.

And so I was expecting to have monstrous stretch marks.

But thank goodness, God is good, He didn't give me something I can't handle. :)

I have another battle scar which is a cross between an embarrassing life experience and a life changing one.

I have been a cutter.

In the Urban Dictionary, a cutter is 'someone who cuts themselves to relieve themselves from emotional pain'.

It is not something to be advertised, and when someone cuts, they are generally ashamed and hides it very well.

Yes, I have been a cutter.

But I am glad that I am over that phase in my life.

I remember when I used to hide my cuts under a wrist band that I always wear and it became a part of my wardrobe.

I was even the subject of jokes comparing me to former Philippine President Joseph Estrada, who always wore a wrist band.

“In a perverse way, I was glad for the stitches, glad it would show, that there would be scars. What was the point in just being hurt on the inside? It should bloody well show.” 

“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.” 

I don't really remember the satisfaction I got from seeing blood from my cuts, but somehow it eases the emotional pain I was feeling.

Maybe I was just hungry for attention or I was really nuts at that time.

I call my cuts, my battle scars.

Simply because it is the visible manifestation of my actions when I was in my darkest hours.

I remember the guilt and the shame I felt after cutting.

And now, 3 years after my last cut and seeing the scars, I realized I never really wanted to die.

And then there are scars that we do not see.

The scars we have in our hearts after every painful situation we had.

And again for me, these scars are the most beautiful scars because they teach you so much about the realities of life.

“Scars fade with time. And the ones that never go away, well, they build character, maturity, caution.” 

We all have scars, battle scars.

 It is up to us if we want to remain scarred for the rest of our lives and drown ourselves in self-pity, or we can let the scars be the way they are.

Just scars.

Only a reminder of the life that we used to have.

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” 

And the scars that I have in my belly and in my wrists, is a beautiful thing because through those scars, I have seen life at its worst, and life at its best.

Through my scars, I've seen life taken away from me, my two miscarriages, and life given through me, my four children.

Jesus' scars are the most beautiful scars of all. By choosing to have those scars, mankind was save.

What scarred you?

Here are some quotes to ponder on about the scars life gives us.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” 

― Rumi

“Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as a secrets to reveal. A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh.” 

“Scars are but evidence of life," Coquette said. "Evidence of choices to be learned from...evidence of wounds...wounds inflicted of mistakes...wounds we choose to allow the healing of. We likewise choose to see them, that we may not make the same mistakes again.” 

“i like scars, they remind you of things” 

― Nirrimi Joy Hakanson

Keeping the faith,

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