Makati City, Philippines

A Violation of Trust

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Today , I heard on the favorite radio station at work more information about RA 9262 or the Violence Against Women and Children Act and a guest resource person from the Women's Crisis Center was on air. The radio host asked her about the composition and details of the law itself. The guest, I will not name her because I might have had talked to her in one of my calls to the center, explained that even while there is a law, the enforcement of the law itself poses some problems. For example, majority of our police enforcers and barangay enforcers are male. Although there are women in uniform, still a bigger percentage of these enforcers are male. I suggest that you go and file your complaint at the Women's Desk available in all Police Stations or the Women and Children's desk in your local barangay. Women police officers and barangay police are on duty to assist women and children with their complaints.

Most victims of domestic violence or battery are afraid to cross the line between filing a blotter and filing a case. Some victims would just file a blotter just so the beating would stop.People in charge of these problems must be trained to properly handle the victims. They should know that this is very different from a simple case of causing physical injuries to another person. In the Violence Against Women and Children Act (VAWC) , the victimizer or suspect is someone who is very intimate with her or has been in an intimate relationship with her, a boyfriend, a past relationship or a husband.This is a  perfect example of a violation of trust, that's why the victims are hesitant to speak out because the victimizer is someone they love or used to love. There are plenty of reasons why women in abusive relationship stay. Some of these reasons are: they love the person, they are worried about the children's future without a father, or just too afraid because of the threat and they just simply do not want to see the other person in jail.

As partners, a wife or a girlfriend, we open our hearts to these male figures in our life especially when we are in love. We tell them our most intimate secret, skeletons in our closet with the confidence that they would understand but only to find out that these are used against us to gain advantage of the situation. I am not saying that it's not a wise idea to confide in our partners, but it would be better to be discreet about some things. Women can be overly emotional that when faced with a problem,it is a normal reaction to cry on our partner's shoulders for comfort. Choose what you will confide. It won't hurt to hold back some information about things that are going on with your side of the family's life. Do not divulge too much. But of course, not everybody can or will relate to what I am saying.

In the Philippines, some barangays or communities do not really have the proper training in handling victims. They lack proper education and training. In my case, I was denied of a protection order for the mere reason that the people working there do not know the legalities of it. If I had that protection earlier, I would not have been put into this situation that I am in presently. I could always go back there and tell them of their ignorance, but I would just be wasting my time knowing that they would not agree.

A violation of trust is the biggest thing that could happen in your relationship and can instantly put an end to it especially if there are other issues that have been plaguing your relationships in the past.The best thing that a woman can do is to be very careful of not going overboard of forgetting herself, love herself and know their worth.

Pray more. This is always the most effective thing to combat evil from coming into your homes and relationships.

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